What brings couples to counseling
Communication that has turned into a cycle of criticism and defensiveness. Trust broken by an affair, secrets, or financial betrayal. Growing apart after kids, a career change, a move, or a loss. Differences over faith, family, money, or intimacy. Or simply the sense that you are roommates now and you miss being partners.
I also work with engaged couples who want to start strong, and with couples who are trying to decide whether to stay together and want to make that decision with clear eyes.
How I work with couples
I have been married for 30 years. I know marriage is not a fairy tale, and I know it can be deeply good. In our sessions I help you both slow down enough to hear what is underneath the arguments, which is almost always some version of "do you still see me, and am I safe with you."
I draw on emotionally focused approaches and on Internal Family Systems to help each of you understand your own reactions and your partner's. We practice new ways of talking about hard things in the room, so you can take them home. When faith matters to you as a couple, we can bring it into the work. When it does not, we do not.
Christian marriage counseling
Many couples in the Rogue Valley are looking for a counselor who shares their faith and also brings real clinical training. I hold a Master of Divinity, a Master of Theology, and a Master of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, and I am licensed by the State of Oregon. You can bring your whole self, including your faith, and you will get evidence based care.